About the author  ⁄ Lori Day

Lori Day is an educational psychologist and consultant based in Concord, MA. She has worked in the field of education for over 25 years, serving in varied roles in public schools, private schools, and at the college level. Her work with students has spanned the years from preschool through young adulthood in traditional academic settings, alternative programs, and special needs placements.

Picasso once said, “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.” A quick glance around an African-American friend’s home recently showed me that he and many of his relatives have, delightfully, not grown up. At least, not in the way that concerned Picasso. 

This was a home where important values were taught, including honesty, courage, and respect, and these same values could be seen on walls and pedestals around the house revealed in paint, pencil, fabric, wood, and stoneware, to name but a few of the media utilized in the work of so many creative family members, including the two children.

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cyberbullying danger

Last April, as I was up to my eyeballs in cyberbullying among my middle schoolers, a New Jersey middle school principal told ABC’s “Good Morning America” that he had emailed his students’ parents stating that “there is absolutely, positively no reason for any middle school student to be a part of a social networking site.” He urged all parents to prohibit their children’s access at home, and he was met with tremendous resistance.

While the rash of suicides attributed to bullying on FaceBook, MySpace, YouTube, and texting have been concentrated in high school, there have been younger teens in middle school who have also taken their lives. The downward trend towards younger and younger students finding ways to aggress electronically towards peers has grown, now becoming common in elementary school, with students as young as fourth grade creating FaceBook pages for the sole purpose of attacking a targeted classmate.

The risk of harm to kids from adult online predators is far less than the danger posed by peers who emotionally torment via status updates, wall posts, “de-friending,” photo tagging, and texting. Preteens and young teens simply are not psychologically ready to handle the potential weapon of social media any more than they are ready to handle guns, cars, alcohol, and other items that our society properly withholds from children until they have the maturity to use them in a safe and healthy manner. Twelve-year-olds have a hard enough time dealing with puberty, refining social skills, and developing self-confidence. They don’t need FaceBook in their impulsive hands.

Most parents have no idea how disruptive to schools this new wild west of social media ambush among students has become. Parents of children who have been either bullies or victims are well aware of the pain involved in their own circumstances, but have little concept of the collective tsunami of cyberbullying reports that face school administrators every day.

A personal anecdote from my days of running a school: Monday mornings sometimes involved the routine of arriving on campus around 8:00 a.m. to find lines outside each of my two office doors. One line in the hallway might contain three or four distraught students. The second line—ready to pounce on me from the front office if allowed access by my administrative assistant—consisted of parents holding stacks of paper and cell phones.

Talk about triage!  The crying students had many tales of weekend persecution to tell, and were trying to get ahead of each other in line to see me first. The parents held cell phones with saved text messages and voicemails, and FaceBook printouts of dialogue between their child and other children. All wanted to see me immediately to “prove” what was going on.

If there are comic undertones in this description, forgive me, for I do not take the issue of cyberbullying lightly. However, dark comedy was indeed how it played out at times, especially as I looked at my watch, the to-do list on my desk, the appointments on my calendar, and the number of people outside my office in crisis. There were days when I knew I would get nothing done beyond a futile effort to unravel, defuse, referee, assuage, discipline, teach, and in myriad other ways simply cope for yet another day with the destruction wrought by social media on youngsters, their concerned parents, and the primary mission of schools—teaching.

My parents never visited my school Head to complain that during a sleepover another child had been mean to me. That is essentially what is happening today, but in high-tech format, which often makes it harder, not easier, to unravel the social tangle that does not belong in the principal’s office in the first place. In instances of threats to a school or threats of physical harm to self or others, schools must act quickly. Most bullying, however, happens outside of these parameters and outside of school—fully in the domain of family.

Children are in loco parentis at school for approximately 35 hours per week; they are the responsibility of their own parents for the remaining 133 hours. Even with the new (and highly flawed) anti-bullying legislation, our society will get nowhere with this problem without parents bearing the primary responsibility for raising their children. As I once told a group of parents, “I can’t help you until you help me. Please take FaceBook and texting away.” I was amazed at how few parents would stand up to their kids and follow through. Sadly, until more do, things could get worse before they get better.

By Lori Day. Lori is an educational psychologist and consultant with over 25 years experience in various positions within the educational field. You can learn more about Lori and her practice, Lori Day Consulting, by visiting her website, www.loridayconsulting.com, and by reading her blog, “It’s Your Day,” at http://loridayconsulting.com/wordpress/. Lori can be reached at lday@loridayconsulting.com.

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academic kindergarten age

Every September, the incoming group of kindergarteners becomes ever so slightly older.  When I had my daughter almost twenty years ago, I remember a friend of mine exclaiming, “Oh, you’re so lucky, she’s birthday-blessed!” The term referred to her fall birth date, and the fact that she would automatically be one of the oldest students in her class. But in this high-octane world of parenting, we are seeing an increasing wave of academic “redshirt” decisions, especially for “Summer Birthday Boys,” in an effort to give them an academic, social, and athletic advantage by orchestrating their position among oldest and biggest in their grade.

What is Redshirting?

Redshirting borrows its name from a college sports euphemism for athletes sitting out a year, prolonging their eligibility, so that they will be older, larger, and stronger when they finally do take the field.

The term stands in stark contrast to the definition of kindergarten, which is German for “children’s garden.” I bet many parents my age remember school days in that children’s garden of morning rest times, snacks to be savored, pet hamsters to be fed, and terrariums created in peanut butter jars. Gone is that version of kindergarten: “Kindergarten is the new first grade!”

In this new academic kindergarten, math stations have replaced sand tables, and fitting in time for recess is an ongoing struggle. Focusing less on the development of social skills and more on the development of academic skills represents a seismic shift in the traditional purpose of the kindergarten year, and one that can prove harmful to some students, perhaps to be explored further in a future article.

Balancing Research with Each Child’s Development and Needs

Blame it on No Child Left Behind, but we now have a kindergarten arms race where school and state obsession with test scores, parental competition and anxiety, and teacher preferences for older students have changed the very nature of a child’s first year of elementary school. There are many variables that parents should consider in determining the optimal year for enrolling their individual child in kindergarten, as well as many collective pros and cons that we all should ponder. The research is both contradictory and inconclusive as to whether redshirting works and for how long. While analysis of the research is both interesting and important, it is far less important than looking at one’s own unique child and ascertaining what is best for him or her.

What is Best for Students and their Learning?

There seems to be agreement among educators that younger children given another year to mature enter kindergarten with greater confidence, social skills, ability to focus, and readiness to learn. There is a documented initial boost in reading skills, math skills, and general knowledge. I would also add that the movement away from half-day kindergarten towards full-day kindergarten—while I think driven as much by the needs of working parents and working teachers as by the needs of students—is better managed by six-year-olds than five-year-olds. Personally, I’m glad that my daughter went to kindergarten when it was still a half-day program. Even though one of the oldest in her class, she still needed to nap, and did not yet have the energy for a full day of school. Redshirted children (and those used to a full-day preschool program) will be more likely to successfully face this demand, although I continue to question its appropriateness.

There are also several factors that most researchers agree call into question the efficacy of redshirting. If children with late birthdays are very bright, they may be bored if held back simply because they are chronologically young. If older upon entrance, they may also have difficulty relating to younger classmates, and may be found intimidating by them.

It is debatable whether the initial leg up a child receives by delayed entry is maintained over the long run. I have noticed that by grade 3 or 4, much of the benefit has faded away as children shift from learning to read to reading to learn.

Perhaps the most concerning aspect of redshirting, at least in my experience, is that, in retrospect, it is often done disproportionately to children with undiagnosed special needs who at the time were judged to be developmentally behind, but in fact were in need of special education services, not another year to mature. Children with learning disabilities who are redshirted or retained in Kindergarten lose any accrued benefit very quickly and are then simply older children with special needs that still must be addressed.

How Do Parents Decide?

Parents who want to avoid possibly needing to hold their child back during a later year in school when it would be socially devastating are the first to redshirt their children, especially boys who tend to develop more slowly than girls. Parents of girls often make the opposite decision, fearing that their daughters will hit puberty and begin menstruating while younger female classmates are still playing Hello Kitty games.

Other factors parents should consider include whether they can afford an additional year of child care; how easy or difficult it would be to arrange for their child to skip a grade if redshirting turns out to have been a poor decision; whether they are comfortable with the idea of their child driving before his or her peers, and being 19 years old while still in high school; and whether they support delaying their child’s ultimate college and/or workforce entrance by a year. Some families also have concern about changing the spacing in school years between siblings, especially when the older child is only one grade ahead of the younger child and a redshirting decision would place them in the same grade.

Advantages and Disadvantages to Teachers and Schools

Any kindergarten teacher will tell you that it is easier to teach more mature students who are socially skilled, well-behaved, can focus, sit still, and acquire basic academic skills. Older students are more likely to meet these expectations than younger ones. However, teachers will just as quickly tell you that the vicious cycle of kids being older upon entrance, needing more rigorous curriculum, edging out younger students, and thus increasing the incidence of redshirting is not a productive situation. Someone needs to be the youngest, and someone always will be, regardless of the amount of jockeying. The common 18-month age-span in kindergarten classrooms resulting from redshirting also makes it difficult for teachers to manage group behavior and differentiate instruction.

But schools enjoy the higher averaged standardized test scores achieved by older students. This is troubling because the more affluent middle- and upper-middle-class school districts have parents who can financially afford the extra year of childcare that comes with the territory of redshirting, while districts comprised of poorer families have parents who can’t afford to make the same advantageous decisions for their children. This obviously increases the achievement gap between wealthier and poorer school districts, a divide that also often falls along racial lines.

Suggestions for Parents

While I wish that the culture of education would shift towards kindergarten being ready for kids rather than kids needing to be ready for kindergarten, it is incumbent upon parents to decide when to initiate their child’s school journey. The current parental climate of anxiety, competitiveness, and keeping up with the Joneses is not helpful to this process. For most children, kindergarten entrance is not complex, but for at least 10% of them, it can be tricky. In these instances, parents are best served by consulting with their child’s preschool teacher and potential kindergarten teacher, as well as by considering the results of kindergarten screening and the advice of a school psychologist or educational consultant. There are no hard and fast rules. Most importantly, the anxiety this decision can cause for parents must not be projected onto the child. For the most part, young children are remarkably resilient and will buy into any decision their parents make that is expressed with confidence. The self-fulfilling prophecy works in both directions!

By Lori Day. Lori is an educational psychologist and consultant with over 25 years experience in various positions within the educational field. You can learn more about Lori and her practice, Lori Day Consulting, by visiting her website, www.loridayconsulting.com, and by reading her blog, “It’s Your Day,” at http://loridayconsulting.com/wordpress/. Lori can be reached at lday@loridayconsulting.com.

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classroom technology

Sigh. Is it just me, or does the current hyper-focus on technology in the classroom leave anyone else just a little bit cold? Tech-hungry teachers and students are licking their chops.  Design fanatics are genuflecting at the feet of Steve Jobs. Do I risk professional suicide if I propose that there is an underbelly to the iPad2, and similar technology, that we should be thinking and talking about?

When Steve Jobs recently catapulted his latest Apple creation into the marketplace, even the buzz from former tech rival Bill Gates’ ill-informed pontification about the “benefits” of increasing class size was reduced to a dull roar. It seems that everyone who’s anyone has something to say about education these days, and that’s not a bad thing. Technology and the Internet allow all of us to have something to say about education, which broadens the stage for this very important and timeless discussion.

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